howdy howdy tots,
 
what do i say to you? how do i update my family and friends? it's something i often think about when writing you these little letters. how much can i reveal?
 
this list of you all is quite varied. There are folks i've known since i was born. Kernals who have only popped recently. People i've talked about intimate details of my life with, people who've only peaked at my insides through these letters.
 
i've talked to you about my father's death. talked to you about my engagement. talked to you about the little spurs of life that make up my thorny path. so what can't i say to you?
 
i started these newsletters to let everyone know things i was doing. thoughts i was having. as my life angled down the path of being honest with myself, i started being honest with you. whether or not that was something you wanted, i figured you volunteered for this newsletter, you gave consent to be taken on this journey.
 
And, i applaud you. These have been some rough fucking rapids and soul bearing froth. i know. I know. most of you have held on. some have jump overboard. Some more will jump on. Some more with jump off, and i trust you to jump where you need.
 
i believe in this long float. this river is leading me somewhere and i don't fight it by trying to swim upstream. i don't like to fight myself. i trust it. it's leading me somewhere. when i encounter rocks, i get scraped and it's beautiful to get scraped. it's beautiful to watch blood mix with water and fade away into dilution solution. And it's beautiful when i find my way into a sunny spot and the river feels like it's standing still. it's a beautiful float, and i wonder where it's going?
 
i've learned how to feel the river, notice how it moves. notice how i feel washing around. i Feel a Purpose in the water right now. a Direction. i wonder where it's going?
 
stick around, my dear dear friends. because no matter if i've known you a day, a month, or 26 years, i love you no matter what comes around.
 
and if you haven't tried watching tepper's tots, please do. i've just released episode 20, so it's officially bingeable.
 
the entire playlist is here. i recommend starting at episode 10, unless you love me so much you'd actually LIKE staring at my face for the first two weeks of 15+ minute episodes.

until next time, as you ramble on through life, whatever be your goal, keep your eye upon the doughnut and not upon the hole,

tepper saffren, your friendly fool