Howdy Family,

My therapist and I often discuss the idea of "normal." What is normal? Am I normal? Is everyone normal? 

"Normal" is notoriously confused as a point on a line rather than a spectrum. This is a result of our black and white culture of either/or-isms. We want answers. "Yes." "No." Not "Maybe..." Maybe lacks certainty. Lacks dependability. Lacks safety.

That's scary, isn't it? Not knowing for certain? And if you're a horror movie buff you know we either run away or fight off scary. We don't ask the scary monster what's wrong, have a dialogue with it and see if we can help, ultimately realizing we had nothing to fear in the first place and Bob the Bog Monster is actually a pretty cool dude. NO!! We avoid scary things. Just as we avoid uncertainty.

The world is gray but by tricking ourselves into believing this is a black and white world full of logical, rational answers we hide away from our fears. Ignoring them like the overflowing trash can in a dorm room because it's Luke's turn to take it out! 

So why is it a problem if I pass Janie Sue a note during math class that says "Do you like me? Check yes or no." Because we are more complicated than that! Janie Sue might like your shoes but not your blues. Might think you're cool, but kind of obtuse. There are no rules, it's all kinda loose.

Back to my point, or rather my spectrum. It’s unhealthy to try to achieve the “normal” founded by our fears. Those fears think I’m weird because I’m comfortable enough with my sexuality to question it. Comfortable enough in my masculinity to explore my femininity. Comfortable enough with my emotions to explore them. Those fears build walls of shame and guilt to block us from self-exploration and acceptance. 

How can we help? How can we move this world to the nonjudgmental, accepting, compassionate place I want to live in? It’s starts at home base. Being nonjudgemental, accepting, and compassionate to yourself. You are normal. Those fears are normal. Those questions are normal. 

It may be scary to walk into that dark room inside us with all the abnormal shapes and shadows, but stay inside long enough to let your eyes adjust and you’ll see that monstrous shadow is only the old Bowflex you bought and never used.

Until next time, your loving son and brother, 

tell me what you're up to too: teppersaffren@gmail.com

Journal Thoughts

Picked by my strong, intelligent, self-sacrificing, nurse sister, Amanda Muteff. This is the day she found out she was having twins!

3/26/2017
"Does it decrease my need to create big art projects by all the little pieces I do? The morning mantras. The journaling. The homework assignments. Or does that fuel me more? Keep me productive? I noticed as I work on bigger projects I do less of the small ones. They get ignored. Thrown into the background. So do I need them to keep me company in the down times? I believe so. It helps keep me sharper and habitually working. Practicing constantly for when the inspiration knocks. Yes. Keep the small pieces."

Featured Fortnight Artist: Amanda Muteff

Amanda Muteff is my aforementioned sister and she has recently created three master pieces, my nieces and nephew! Amanda is such a spectacular and loving mother and nurse who dedicates her life to helping others. I am so proud of her and all she does. I love you very much, Amanda. And of course I love Wyatt, Paige and Autumn (my nephew and twin nieces), but that's easy because they are so cutie whootie pootie!

Tepper's Two-Cents

1¢ — "Kind" and "nice" are not synonymous  Kindness comes from an internal desire to do what you believe is the right thing to do. It stems from love and sincerity. Niceness comes from external perceptions of what you "should" do. You do it to gain something in return or be viewed a certain way. Both contribute to the goodness of the world, but strive for kindness. Lean towards the light.

2¢ — Generosity reciprocates! Newton's 2nd Law of Motion says every action has an equal and opposite reaction. This means (in total metaphorical representation, sorry scientists) what you give, you get. If you give positivity, you get positivity. Give negativity, get negativity. The more generous you are with you time, your money, your love, your compassion, and your work, the more you get back. Perhaps not in the same exact ways, but energy can only be transferred, it doesn't disappear, so it'll come back to you one way or another.